What if we ran our political races more like the hit television series American Idol?
Right off the bat – ditch the two party system and gather up all the would-be Presidents, Governors, Senators, Congressmen, what have you, and group them together in one place. Start off with a group of journalists and political consultants and narrow down each pack to a hopeful grouping of 5 to 10 (that is, if we can muster that many potential candidates for a position). After that, let’s get them up on stage over a series of weeks in front of the viewing public and put them through some political paces. I’m envisioning a round panel question and answer session the first week on opinions and solutions relating to current public affairs – and maybe a personal question thrown in here and there for a mental speed-bump. Open up those 1-800 numbers for each candidate and come back the next night to find out who didn’t make the cut.
Round two – Since most political hopefuls come into vogue after their physical prime, I’m nixing the swimsuit competition in favor of a foreign policy face-off. We could still keep it kind of bawdy, though, by letting them wear Hawaiian print shirts, and perhaps cut-offs – if they sign a waiver agreeing not to wear the dress argyle socks at the same time.
More voting… Bye-bye yet another hopeful.
Once we’re down to the final two or three, THEN we heat it up a bit. We’ve got a whole slew of ex-Presidents and other political office-holders eking out meager livings we could bring on the show – think that MTV show Beat the Geek – to put our wannabe office holders through some real life scenario questions and answers. I’ll bet Gorby would jump at the chance to come in and host the “Cold War Double Points Round”.
The possibilities are endless! Politics and cheap network programming – primaries and sweeps weeks all rolled into one exciting package! Heck, think of all the free air time during commercial breaks for anti-drug ads… Who doesn’t own a TV in American society? Well, maybe the Amish, but we could put together troupes of hungry “Shakespeare in the Park” actors to do live show interpretations if need be. See, this idea even helps with unemployment!
We’re ready and waiting network execs! I’ve got the popcorn in the microwave, a six-pack on the table, and AT&T ready to take my votes!