I was, shall we say, indisposed, when I heard my wife call from the other room asking if I had gone to bed.
“No,” I replied. “I’m indisposed.”
“Oh, I thought I heard you in the bedroom.”
“No, I’m indisposed.” By this point, it was starting to sound odd every time I said it. IN DIS POSED. IN DISP OSED. INDA SPOSED.
Oh hell. “I’m in the bathroom!” I yelled.
“What are you reading?” she asked.
“Umm… I’m – in – the – bathroom.”
“Yes,” she said, “I know. You’re ‘indisposed’ in ‘da library.” My wife has a habit of being annoyingly cute.
“Blah Blah.” Okay, I didn’t reply with “blah blah” but I’m withholding the author and title to avoid even the one in one-billion chance they find out where I read their book. How embarrasing would that be?
“Hello Mr. So-and-so… fancy running into you at the local Qwik-E-Mart!”
“Oh, why aren’t you the fellow I read about on the web who finished my book while indisposed?”
I don’t play the lottery, but I worry about stuff like that. For those of you that are still with me, back to the tale at hand. Now where was I? Oh yes, indisposed (like you shouldn’t have seen that coming).
My wife, seemingly having nothing to say about my choice of reading material says, “I psychically sent you in there anyway.”
Annoyingly cute sometimes turns into just plain weird. I refrain from further comment because she wasn’t like that when I married her so any comments may be held against me some day when it’s proven how this behaviour is somehow a result of her exposure to me. It’s a safe bet. You learn a lot about safe bets after you’ve been married a few years.
“Okay, umm, thanks.” Smile and nod. Smile and nod. Then, “You must have psychically told my brain to make me come in here, but can you psychically tell my [expletive for hind quarters deleted] to get the show on the road so I can get out of here.”
She replies, “You’re weird.”
Suddenly, me, the psychically induced indisposed interrupted reader is the one that’s weird!
“Okay, umm, thanks.” Smile and nod. Smile and nod and shut up.
Next house – soundproof bathroom.