G+ The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through G+
All the circles were stirring, clicking their mice.
The profile photos had long since been done,
Creative Kit Santas replaced everyone.

Hangouts were hosted all snug from their beds,
While visions of antlers danced on their heads.
Talk to +Bobbi Jo Woods or get drawn by +Cliff Roth?
So I did my hair check and made sure my mic worked.

When in the background there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my hangout to see what was the matter.
To a backgrounded window I clicked like a flash,
New posts filled the stream so fast it might crash.

There were animated gifs of cats and calamities,
Pictures of quotes, words of wisdom, and vanities.
Many more than +Marcelo Almeida, it would appear,
But who'd caused such a ruckus with all of these shares?

With all of these postings, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, this might be "his" shtick.
More rapid than eagles his call-outs they came,
Was it +matthew rappaport commenting and plusing by name?

"Now, +Tom Anderson from Myspace! Now, Shutterbugs +Trey Ratcliff and +Thomas Hawk! Now, +Dalai Lama, who's ranking neither photog has caught!
On, +Felicia Day, queen of geeks! On, +Guy Kawasaki, I think he writes books! On, +Scott Beale, always funny! On, +Robert Scoble, so serious, take a look!
To the top of the reshares! To the top of What's Hot! Share away! Plus away! Post away all!"

"Now, +Chris Pirillo the Geek! Now, +Amanda Blain Geek in Pink! Now, +Mike Elgan, lovable tech writer! And +Hillel Fuld, just as lovable if we could just pronounce his name! On, +Peter McDermott, "just a guy" (with 190,000+ friends)! On, +Robert Anderson, a polyglot guy! On +Florian Rohrweck, how to describe?! On +Michael Mozart, should be Santa's chief elf! +Morgan ABBOU, +stephanie wanamaker, +Ahmed Zeeshan, all of these names hard to spell yet added by more than a few!"

And then, in a twinkling, I saw in my header
My notifications advancing incredible.
It was Beetlejuice Tag and I was plus'd in,
+Carter Gibson, +Dan Soto, +M Monica, +Alyssa Milano, and +Wil Wheaton.

Then a profile I saw, dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
His clothes actually tarnished, not Photoshopped with ashes and soot.
This was no nym, his identity checked.
He looked like a peddler, but it was St. Nick!

He started a HIRL, filled with reindeer and elves, all so merry!
New features with cheeks just like roses, and noses like cherries!
On my screen his mouth was drawn up like a bow,
I adjusted my video to make it less so.

He held Google's new tablet (CES pictures were leaked),
And the glow it encircled his head like a wreath.
As he turned the screen to the cam with his red mittoned fist
+LaDonna Pride shouted out, "It's his Naughty & Nice List!"

He'd supercharged our streams, this jolly old elf,
Who looked a little like +William Shatner, I thought, in spite of myself.
But a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but was furiously typing,
Then he publicly posted, "This is better than Skyping!
On the naughty list, G Plusers, you have nothing to fear!
Except for +Mark Zuckerberg. Why is he here?"

Then he picked up his tablet, and to his HIRL gave a whistle,
And off camera they flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he logged out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

My apologies to all that were listed! To all that were not listed! And for the blatant use of the word "Skyping" just to get a rhyme. 😉

Tag +Keith Cramer +Dustin Cochran +Kristi Fahlsing +Rhonda Stewart +Emilio Boronali +Caroline Evebetty +Jake Marquart +Sheila Garl +Laurie Morrison

[EDIT 12/25] Apparently, as I should have already known by the state of my checkbook, numerical placeholders (and late night vision) are not my friends. I grossly exaggerated +Peter McDermott's followers on the scale of about, oh, a hundred thousand or so. I'll leave the original text as is, because (1) It's kind of funny now, after the comments I have read, (2) I can't change the shares, and (3) I have requested Peter, for the sake of my credibility to pick up another hundred thousand or so followers; so, I hope to be completely correct very soon. 😉

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25 Responses to G+ The Night Before Christmas

  1. Emilio Boronali says:

    Best name dropping poem ever! 🙂

  2. Caroline Evebetty says:

    you're right, I must change my avatar cause today's the day. merry christmas to you and your all family +Scott Cramer 🙂

  3. stephanie wanamaker says:

    +Scott Cramer best Xmas poem ever ! great name dropping will forgive yoo for Skyping but dont let me catch you mentioning mark zuckerberg again

  4. Scott Cramer says:

    +Emilio Boronali Thanks! A little bit of Christmas silliness 😉

    +Caroline Evebetty Many thanks, and to you too!

    +stephanie wanamaker Heh, thank-you. Yes, even though he is on the naughty list, no more mentioning the name that shall not be mentioned. +Voldemort. lol

  5. Emilio Boronali says:

    +Scott Cramer Silliness, you're doing it right! And of course All the Best for the new year!

  6. stephanie wanamaker says:

    +Scott Cramer Happy Holidays to you and your family!

  7. Susan Vollenweider says:

    Fantastic!!! Merry, Merry!

  8. LaDonna Pride says:

    😀 This is awesome! Great imagination and love the mention! :D:D Merry Christmas!!!!

  9. Laurie Morrison says:

    Very clever!! Thank you so much +Scott Cramer & may God bless you and yours with the true spirit of Christmas and all the joys this wondrous season brings as well!

  10. Tony Samuels says:

    Nicely done!!! Merry Christmas 🙂

  11. Chris Pirillo says:

    "Except for +Mark Zuckerberg. Why is he here?" Genius.

  12. Tom Anderson says:

    🙂

  13. Carter Gibson says:

    Just gave this a read +Scott Cramer. Very cool. Great work!

  14. Secret Santa says:

    Ho ho ho! How appropriate! Great work Scott! Santa is on his way!

  15. Bobbi Jo Woods says:

    Wow, very nice job, +Scott Cramer !

  16. Lily L says:

    I love this! Very cute ^-^ good question though, why IS Zuckerberg still here and in the top 100 list? Who invited him?

  17. Lily L says:

    Also, I bet +will shatner really is Santa XD

  18. Robert Leuallen says:

    NOMINATION FOR THE BEST G+ HOLIDAY POST

    Perfect. Awsome. +Scott Cramer in my opinion has hit the top on this one.
    ****************
    Above is my share headline,

    I heard Google is thinking about throwing together a quick 2011 Post Awards doings, like the Academy Awards, but probably should be called the Google Plus Alchemy Awards, just as these folks tried to turn stuff into gold, here we all are trying to turn G+ into gold.

    I like it, "Google Plus Alchemy Awards," lots of fun and crazy people trying to figure out if G+ can help bring them gold.

  19. Robert Leuallen says:

    PS, awards will be presented in a hangout.

  20. Scott Cramer says:

    Thanks everyone for your comments. I'm really happy my insomnia can be useful sometimes! 😉 Every G+ reference that I made came from learning about the community from all of you, so thank you all so much for making the community worth writing silly poems about. Merry Christmas everyone!

  21. Robert Leuallen says:

    +Scott CramerSilly on one hand, but a great creative take on the world of G+ today. You've got talent Scott, looking forward to more of your stuff coming up in 2012.

  22. Euro Maestro says:

    +Scott Cramer

    This is truly great.

    I agree with +Chris Pirillo, the Zuckerberg comment was pure genius. A question I'm sure that most of us have posed.

  23. Scott Ormond says:

    I enjoyed your poem on a re-share and immediately circled you.

  24. Rhonda Stewart says:

    wow. you wrote that in half an hour. stunned look
    nice job.

  25. Scott Cramer says:

    +Rhonda Stewart lol, I think I went over, but thanks for the vote of confidence. 😉

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