Holiday Redneck Police, or More about My Pumpkin-Keeping-Brother
Me: Sir, we’ve had reports of December Halloween-Pumpkin-Keeping at this address.
Brother Keith: Scott, what are you talking about? Sir? You already wrote about that stupid pumpkin yesterday.
Me: Just doing my job.
BK: A little sleep would do you wonders. Some of us actually do read the timestamps on those web log entries. Plus, I’ve seen the hard cider bottles on your desk!
Me: You can answer the questions here, or down at the station. Your choice, sir. Now, about the pumpkin…
BK: Pumpkin is in the can… on the curb… should be in the landfill by mid morning. Gone. Forever.
Me: Gone?
BK: Yeah, at least I won’t have a pumpkin and a Christmas tree on the curb. That is reserved only for the true professionals.
Me: Very funny. This is serious business.
BK: It’s a pumpkin.
Me: In December. Very very wrong.
BK: I should have draped Christmas lights over the pumpkin…
Me: Sir, stop.
BK: Then I could have painted it and hid it on easter!
Me: That’s enough!
BK: Then, on July 4th… KABOOM!
Me: I’m going to have to give you a ticket now, sir.
BK: C’mon! You were just short on material for your web log tonight! We’re brothers!
Me: Here’s your ticket, Bro.
BK: Nothing is sacred methinks.
Me: I’ll be checking back to see about those Christmas lights this January…