I Hate Bees

My name is Scott.

I hate bees. This is my story.

I was walking back into my office building after checking the mailbox. As I approached the door I felt something on my face at the edge of my glasses.

My ninja-like reflexes kicked in instantly.

First, warrior cry.
“Oh @#$%^!!! Get it off me now!!!”

Second, uncanny physical defensive moves.
Picture the bottom half of my body jumping up into the air while the top half flings itself to the ground. Oh yeah, all at the same time slapping myself in the face and knocking off my glasses. Did you ever see the lead singer of “Midnight Oil” dance? Something like that. Not a child of the 80’s? Think Taylor Hicks, the 2006 American Idol winner.

Peter Garrett, lead singer of “Midnight Oil”

Taylor Hicks, 2006 American Idol winner

Third, mind over matter mastery of pain.
At first I thought I’d avoided the attack. Then the outside edge of my left eye started burning a little. “Oh well, the little bugger got me.” Then it burned a little more. “Hmm, perhaps I should go inside now. Where are those glasses?” Then suddenly I was on fire. “AHHH! I’m on fire!”

The bee was obviously a darker master of the ninja arts than I.

I stumbled back to my office and asked my brother-slash-partner for medical assistance. If you ask him about it, the words “pitifully whined for help” might come up. Don’t ask him. He is not a ninja and he lies.