Imperial Wedding March

A woman where I work wants to play the “Imperial March” when she walks down the aisle to her betrothed. This was the omnious tune that played whenever the villainous Darth Vader walked into a room in the Star Wars movies. Sidenote – I hate to have to preface facts like that, but as sobering as it is to many of us hovering around thirty (or more), the original movie hailed in the latter days of disco. Today’s movie moguls would have had Britney Spears playing Princess Leia and “Oops, I did it again…” as a sexy dance routine in front of Jabba the Hutt. Nightmares aside, I can just see this woman marching down the aisle, theme song playing, crushing rose petals in step with every measured beat. Her speech, a Vader-ish rasp from behind her veiled face. As the minister asks if there is anyone who knows a reason why this couple should not be joined, a voice in the audience is cut short in a strangulated cough as she casts a quick glance and gestures with one delicate lace-gloved hand. I can only imagine what’s in store for the Groom. “May the force be with you.”