Laptop Suicide

My laptop is alive. And it doesn’t want to be.

I’d always thought of my laptop as an inanimate tool until this morning. It all started two days ago when my brother and I ordered new Sony Vaio laptops to replace our almost four-year-old Vaios that are barely holding together. The *very* next morning after placing the order, I get to the office and take my laptop out of it’s bag. The LCD is broken. It’s still viewable, but it looks like a window with cracks spidering across the top third of the display. At the time, I figured Murphy’s Law – nothing mystical.

That was yesterday.

This morning, I picked up my case by the shoulder strap (just like *every* other morning for the past four years) and I heard the sound of zippers unzipping followed quickly by a loud crash behind me and felt a very sudden lightening sensation of my laptop bag. I turned around to see the laptop several feet behind me up against a wall with the battery compartment door another foot away and the battery spilled out onto the floor. I put it all back together and it still works, though the battery door seems a little less tight than it used to be.

Normally I’d say “dumb accident” but two days in a row?!? Immediately after ordering a replacement laptop?!? I’m a both-feet-on-the-ground kind of man, but I can’t help but believe my laptop is depressed that I’m leaving it for another, younger, processor and that it’s trying to commit suicide!

I’ve since removed the strap from my bag – so it can’t hang itself. I’ve updated my virus software – so it can’t poison itself. Tonight, I’m gathering together all the other house electronics and organizing an intervention. Chin up, little Sony… I’ll always be there for you!

Well… at least for another 5 to 10 business days with standard shipping.