I was trying to think of a funny way to write down this story my nephew’s wife told me. In the end, I couldn’t think of anything funnier than just presenting the facts as they were told to me. I know, I know… great writers everywhere are turning over in their graves. Not embellishing??? How does he consider himself a writer?!?! Yeah, well, I never saw Hemingway with a blog, so nyah. Of course, I never saw Hemingway write “nyah” – maybe Emerson on an off day, or Ogden Nash on a good day… In any case, on to the story.
My nephew, industrious lad that he is, had put in a hard day at his corporate job working software support for mega-unamed-900-pound-gorilla phone company in our local town. I’m sure he drove the family mini-van home that night psyching himself up for another couple hours of homework for night school business courses – which he’d get to as soon as all three kids had gone to bed and he and his wife had gotten a chance to clean up the leftover meat loaf and instant mashed potatoes. Several hours later, after four chapters, a two page paper, and every news update twice on CNN, he finally headed for bed.
It was later where my nephew’s wife relates the story. She woke up late that evening with my nephew stirring in his sleep. He sat up in bed and said the following:
“I have the reflexes…”
Then, she tells me there was a long pause, before he continued.
“…of a cow.”
If that weren’t enough already – and remember I said I had no need to embellish this story – he then exclaimed,
“Mooooo.”
You’d think all the laughter would have woken him up. But I guess not. After all, reflexes of a cow and all that.