Pasty white guys should not wear pasty white shorts. Pasty white guys in nothing but pasty white shorts should not stand on their porch with one leg hiked up on the railing. From a half block away at thirty miles per hour pasty white shorts guy looks a lot like pasty white naked guy. Pasty white naked guy facing the street with his leg hiked up in the air. Pasty white “oh my god, I don’t want to see this” guy rapidly looming larger in the windshield.
I don’t know what’s scarier, pasty white “thought he was naked” guy, or the fact that when I got close enough I saw he was actually pasty white guy in pasty white shorts – because I looked.