After the last washing day I determined that I was no longer going to put up with matching up five different similar but not-the-same types of tube socks. Plus, I had thrown away any singles with holes and I was in the position of pairing socks up “close enough”. One foot gets a little cozier ride and one leg gets an inch of extra sock warmth. That sort of thing. This worked from a practical standpoint, but the disparity still bugged me. It’s really not good to go through the day thinking about your socks. I’m not Mr. Excitement (TM) or anything, but this isn’t a good path to go down – especially walking on mismatched socks!
I’ve got this problem that I can’t throw away anything still useful. However, I have the “gift” of rationalization too, so all I needed to do was prove that socks wear out and need replaced. Tires are kind of like socks for your wheels and you replace them right? So, with the internet at my disposal, I was going to once and for all put this out of my mind. Turns out the government and consumer-watch industries do studies on absolutely everything – except the lifespan of socks.
The closest thing I found was a 1996 article from an online publication entitled Suck (which is very very close to the word sock so they gained legitimacy – hey, I didn’t say I needed *good* rationalization to make this problem go away for myself). The article is here for any interested (spelled “you – need – therapy – too”) parties. The gist of it is that it’s easier and more economical to just buy new socks than spending time worrying about the issue in the first place. I believe there is an implied “duh” somewhere in there but I wasn’t going to take too much offense from a couple of guys who call themselves Suck. Duh.
After an embarrassingly considerable time searching for more references I did finally stumble upon a gem from justsocks.com if you’d like to take a look. DISCLAIMER – click at your own risk – my lawyers told me I needed to add that to avoid being sued as an enabler to the “overly anal excessive compulsive” types who might actually visit these links. The good folks at justsocks recommend “replacing your socks at least on an annual basis.” It’s not like they are an online merchant or anything. I mean, “greater good” or “sell more socks”? I’d like to think they have my best interest in mind. And, of course, they are published on the internet so that gives them more credibility. Right up there with the Origami Boulder Company.
All in all – good enough on both counts for me. I’m now the proud owner of 10 pairs of nondescript white cotton mix-and-match-any-way-you-want socks. As for the old socks? Hey, I’m still practical. Can you say sock puppets?