The Amazing Race 10 – Episode 1 Recap

The Amazing Race – Season 10 – Episode 1

This post is a little later than I’d like but there was just too much to write about *and* since The Amazing Race did not choose my brother and me to be on the show, I’ve still got that whole day-job thing to take care of too. 😉

Phil started out by telling the contestants there would be big surprises to the race this season. He wasn’t kidding. After just one episode, two teams have been eliminated! About half-way through, the last team to arrive at the first checkpoint, was axed. Personally I’m disappointed. If CBS doesn’t want the bother of 12 teams then don’t start with 12 teams. I’m sure being the first off the show sucks no matter what, but not even being given a chance to really get started? That’s just reality-tv cruelty. I tip my non-existent cyber-hat to Bilal & Sa’eed for being so gracious whilst being screwed.

On the positve side of things, the race to the final checkpoint was much more exciting. Normally contestants finish their last task and then pretty much sail through to the checkpoint drama free. This first episode? How about scaling The Great Wall of China with ropes and then running to the checkpoint? I hope they keep this up on upcoming episodes.

This week’s rundown:

THIS WEEK – 1st – Plus they won $20,000!
LAST WEEK – AA photo shoot.
Ex-Addict Models (Tyler & James) – Okay okay, we get it. They are ex-addicts and models. From bad boys to pretty boys. Are you happy CBS? To their credit I was afraid they were going to be like the sickening frat boys (Eric and Jeremy) from last season but these two seem nice so far. I’m still worried we’ve got more sermons about overcoming addiction though. This is prime time, not an afterschool PSA.

THIS WEEK – 2nd
LAST WEEK – Dad practices crying for Amazing Race interview.
Duke & Lauren – Big tough bearded dad – named “Duke” no less – and his recently out-of-the-closet lesbian daughter who will never give him the grandchildren he always wanted to play football with and teach to beat up little prissy boys. In the end the power of love will allow him to see past his disappointment, win the million dollars, and even artifically inseminate his lesbian daughter-in-law. Just a theory. There’s not a whole lot to go on after only one episode.

THIS WEEK – 3rd
LAST WEEK – Auditioning for Discovery Health.
Peter & Sarah – “Camera one, get a shot of her artifical leg sticking out of her sweats.” Repeat 20 times. They’re ironman competitors and she’s got a bionic leg. I’d be pissed too if I had to stand by watching her get on the plane first because she’s “handicapped”. Oh, and if this wasn’t enough, there are – as The Amazing Race website puts it – “unresolved romantic feelings” between the girl who overcame adversity and the doctor who makes it so she can walk. Oh, if only she had an evil twin in the race trying to steal away her doctor-lover by secretly switching places with her and having to hide her two real legs as they jet around the world!

THIS WEEK – 4th
LAST WEEK – Polishing tiaras.
Beauty Queens (Dustin & Kandice) – Miss California and Miss New York (also a Rockette). I’m speechless. I turn over the rest of this paragraph to guest bloggers, Beavis and Butthead. Beavis: “Like, Miss California gets my Rockettes off! Heh heh heh heh!” Butthead: “You dumbass, Beavis, that’s Miss New York.” Beavis: “I’m going to call and vote for her!” Butthead: “This is The Amazing Race Beavis. They don’t stoop to that level for viewers.” Beavis: “Then why are we watching? And you said stoop! Heh heh heh! I bet Phil is stooping!” Butthead: “Heh heh… Shut up Beavis. Phil’s like gay, you know. He like, does makeup and stuff.” Beavis: “Let’s keep watching. Maybe they’ll stoop each other! Heh heh heh. Chick racers rule! Heh heh!” Etc. etc. etc.

THIS WEEK – 5th
LAST WEEK – Bickering in front of each other, not a global audience.
Rob & Kimberly – Why is it that every season there’s at least one couple who gets lost on the way to Dr. Phil and ends up on The Amazing Race? No really. Somebody please tell me. And how do you not know that Thrifty isn’t a rent-a-car company? She’s in public relations – not like she’s a cheerleader or something.

THIS WEEK – 6th
LAST WEEK – Remembering the good old days as co-captains of the University of South Carolina Gamecocks cheerleading squad. (No, really. Gamecocks.)
Cheerleaders (Kellie & Jamie) – Beauty Queens *AND* Cheerleaders! That’s “Kellie” with an “I” and an “E” and “Jamie” with an “I” and an “E”! Oh yeah, and don’t forget the cute hearts dotting the “I’s”. I swear one of them did part of a cheer midway through the show. I couldn’t bring myself to TiVo it back to check for sure, though. The cute/annoying meter is dangerously close to the red.

THIS WEEK – 7th
LAST WEEK – Fell asleep while reading airport security guidelines.
Erwin & Godwin – Well educated, well traveled, and in great shape. Yet, they still came in 7th place and narrowly avoided being eliminated in the “big surprise” for the last team at the first checkpoint. If these two have their sea-legs after this first leg of the race they could be a force to be reckoned with. Of course, I’m biased because of their silly prank with the squirt guns in the airport. Not real bright – the airport security guard spanked them on it pretty hard and took their toys – but very funny. The Hippies from the last season were The Hippies from second one. These two could grow into something though.

THIS WEEK – 8th
LAST WEEK – Watched a Richard Simmons / Jean-Claude Van Damme marathon to get in shape and prepare for the race.
Gay Team (Tom & Terry) – They’re like cute little plushie toys. Except they’ll scratch your eyes out. Half the race I was calling them “Tom and Jerry” (the old cartoon cat and mouse) by mistake but there’s just something about them that makes me think of cartoons or stuffed animals. Or Oompa Loompas! Yeah, that’s it. Note to other teams – do *not* accept gum from these guys unless you want to end up like Violet Beauregarde.

THIS WEEK – 9th
LAST WEEK – Annoyed somebody else.
Moms (Lyn & Karlyn) – Bowling Moms (from Amazing Race 5) they ain’t. You’d think it was the end of the season and every other team had opressed them at every turn the way these two talked (even threatening to yield another team just after the first sprint). The first few minutes of the show I was really looking forward to rooting for them but by the end I was hoping Chinese marauders would storm the great wall and boil them in oil. Oops, I meant to be more subtle.

THIS WEEK – 10th
LAST WEEK – TV dinners and Wheel of Fortune.
Coalminers (David & Mary) – Whoa. Did anyone else notice her teeth? I don’t mean to be rude here, but I swear The Amazing Race official site edited her pearly whites for the promo picture. Aside from that, this guy works in the pit of the earth digging for dusty black rocks and hoping the planet doesn’t litterally swallow him up whole. What on this race is going to scare him? However I worry about their navigational ability outside of the tri-state area. If she can ditch the “just shup up” tone they might make it a few weeks.

THIS WEEK – 11th
LAST WEEK – Packing for the greatest ONE DAY adventure anywhere.
Vipul & Arti – Wahh!!! No joke, I did not want to see this team eliminated so early. They *really* seemed like a nice couple. It would have been cool to see if they could stick together through the race or if the stressors would get to them. I’m betting she would have surprised the heck out of him in this race and they would become an even closer couple. Their relationship could have been just the model that Rob & Kimberly needed to survive. Hey CBS. I think a cool surprise would be to BRING THEM BACK. Two eliminations in one show just seems sucky.

THIS WEEK – 12th
LAST WEEK – Studying about every country in the world they won’t get to visit.
Muslims (Bilal & Sa’eed) – Well, they *seemed* like nice guys. We only got half a show to see since Phil booted them at the first checkpoint. I think they were pissed but held it together really well and took it graciously. I was really curious to see how they were treated in their travels and especially at the airports because of their appearance and their beliefs. I’d bet money there’s a CBS producer crying somewhere with the loss of potential conflict they could have milked with these guys.