Okay, so I let my backyard grass grow a little high. There were fox-tails waving in the wind and my dogs looked like they were roaming the African veldt when I let them out to do their personal doggie work. It started out that I was busy, then it kept raining at the wrong times, or I was too tired, going out for the evening, leaving for the weekend, a good show was on television, alone at home with the baby, and finally, the ultimate in procrastination excuses – I kinda liked the way it looked!
It was kind of neat to call for the dogs and see the greyhound’s head pop up from somewhere in the middle of the yard – kind of like that whack-a-mole game. The little dog, well all you could see of him was the tip of his tail at the top of the grass moving toward you as he ran for the back-door, blades parting before it like water parting around a shark’s fin. Truthfully the entire backyard looked cleaner too – mostly because you couldn’t see that it needed trimmed. Not to mention the fact that the dogs would have to dutifully do their duty in the same spot for a week in order for it to be seen over the grass-top. Considering I don’t own a Great Dane I felt pretty safe on that count.
So I let it grow.
It finally came down to taking out the garbage one week… I was leaving a trail of crusty breadcrumbs in order to find my way back again to the house, when I noticed half-way between door and alley that my trail was gone. I spied the tail-end of what appeared to be a kangaroo-sized mouse diving back into the side wall of grass. I couldn’t see the house. I couldn’t see the alley. Lucky for me I’d just put new batteries in the lantern or I’d have been really screwed. Even in brightest daylight I’d have been lucky to get a few rays at ground level. I told myself not to panic – even though I could swear I heard drums beating in the not too far off distance. I plodded onwards – eventually I’d reach a fence, the garage, or something! After a few minutes I tripped over something. Looking down I saw it was a clipboard. “City Electric” was emblazoned in blocky bold type at the top of the page. Scribbled underneath was a message. It read, “Lost for days in this heart of darkness… If found, deliver these meter readings to City Electric. -Kurtz.” I guess that explained why we hadn’t received an electric bill recently.
In any case, I’d make it out! I had planted the very seed for this grass – it would not be my undoing! It was then that I heard it – a faint calling, but coming closer. I yelled back in reply.
It rang out again, louder this time, “Marco?”
“POLO!” I cried out.
Within minutes my wife appeared through a nearby thicket of crabgrass, a gardenhose lifeline stretched tight behind her. My saviour! She started to speak and I was about to cut her off and tell her how much I appreciated her concern when she noticed I was missing and how brave and devoted she must be to single-handedly forage out to rescue me!
But before I could utter the first syllable, she thrust a bag into my hands. “Here. You forgot to take out the recyclables.”
Ah yes… My hero.