From the wonderful (I'm quite biased) folks at +Top 10.5!
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Signs You're About to Get Fired
(A +Top 10.5 production by +Dan Soto and his band of comedic geniuses, listed below. Circle this page for more hilarious posts every few days.) (bonus list on bottom)
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12) You find a "Good Luck" card from your co-workers sitting on your desk.
11) Your FOX coworkers find out that you voted Democrat.
10) Your cube space has been replaced by a ping pong table.
9) A security guard meets you at your desk with a packing box.
8) You work for RIM.
7) You haven't gotten any emails all morning.
6) While frantically shredding documents, your boss announces YOU are now completely in charge of the project.
5) A 60 Minutes crew is waiting in your office
4) You come in to find your red Swingline stapler missing.
3) You find out that the girl you took home last night is your bosses daughter.
2) You see your CEO on TV being led away in handcuffs.….and the number one sign you're about to get fired is….
1) Everyone has been coming by your office to check out your stuff.
Congrats to the following top contributors to this list! Circle them for more wit and humor 🙂
+Brian Gillespie (#1,7)
+Gregg Sakauye (#2,12)
+Dan Soto (#3)
+Jim Gomes (#4)
+Kim Rudd (#5)
+Laston Kirkland (#6)
+Scott Cramer (#8,11)
+David Page (#9)
+Karen Thomas (#10)
============================================================Today's Bonus Entry
Things That Sound Dirty Online but Really Aren't
4) It's okay ma'am, I'm a penetration tester. It's my job to sniff your packets.
(+Leo Diaz)3) I scanned your ports and penetrated the first open one I found.
(+Robert Daggett)2) Has anyone seen my dongle?
(+Alan Bombria)…and the winner is ……………….
1) She told me she had a free data port so I could tether to her hot spot.
(+Lori Friedrich )
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Your Boss adds a "I can fix that" comment to your " I hate my job" Facebook post.
+Kari Tedrick I would have totally voted for that answer!
Thanks
#4 the Swingline Stapler was hilarious!
#4 courtesy of my new friend G.C., aka +Jim Gomes 😉
+Scott Cramer graciously allowed me to take that one. We both submitted an entry on the stapler at almost the exact same time. Luckily, my phone is 4G, so mine got posted first. 🙂
I left out the word "Swingline". I admitted defeat and hung my geek reference head in shame!!! 😉
A show of hands… Who has a red Swingline stapler?
*raises hand*
O! Now you're just rubbing it in!!!
I do have a black one from every place I've ever worked! heh 😉
Well, that'll be good for those late night collating and stapling marathons. Why do you have a stapler collection?
Hey! The first rule of late night collating and stapling club is you don't talk about late night collating and stapling club! 😉
I'd like to join that club, because my Early Morning Filing and Paperclipping Club really blows. They never shut up.
You're in!